Once again, it’s been cold, rainy and windy, which means I get stuck with my owner more inside than outside … and that ain’t good! Instead of workouts and having fun on the dock watching him and his friend Marv try to catch fish … I’m inside while he reads (like I can do that) or watches his favorite news channel (I think it’s named after an animal … or something like that). And when he does that I hear lots of words that aren’t in my daily dog diatribe … so I have to growl at him to have him explain what they mean, and usually I can relate them to my canine conversation.
So here goes with some I heard this week:
• Tea Party — He told me this is a kind of political “party” of people who believe in less government and more individual responsibility. I barked, “Huh?” To me, the tea party is the one my best friend Lucy the Lab and I have weekly when we both bring our chew bones together (sometimes we swap bones) and have a bowl of water!
• Social Security — My owner told me that’s a payment people who are a little older get monthly from the government. They have paid into it, and it helps them with their living expenses. To this Golden Retriever, my social security depends on what other animals I socialize with, and how secure I feel around them. My social security is really good around most people and most canines I meet – and is very bad around badgers, skunks and geese!
• Graduation Days — He told me that’s when humans move on to a new experience level in their lives. They graduate to a new school or a job. I know that one right off the paw! It was when I stopped being a puppy, (stopped chewing everything in sight), and became a grown-up dog. Or like in hunting … I learned a lot when I started hunting pheasants, now I’ve “graduated” into a retriever that loves to go afield … contrary to what some humans say … You can teach an older dog new tricks!
• Doomsday Last Saturday — All week he told me there was this preacher and his followers who thought the world was going to end May 21 … I growled, “Will it?” He said, “No” ‘cause he said that it says in the Bible that only God knows when or where …
My doomsdays come quite often … Every time I roll in a dead fish, get in a fight with a skunk, or go places I shouldn’t … I can tell my owner is gloomy … but not quite doomy!
Hope to see you all around the lakes this weekend!
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